What not to say…

Being pregnant and having a baby has been a pretty bizarre experience. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any weirder than random strangers wanting to caress your enlarged stomach, someone comes along and says something weird…or unnecessary…or just down right stupid. Here are some of the corkers that I’ve encountered recently:

5 – “He? Did you say he? That’s not a boy! He’s way too pretty to be a boy. Are you sure he’s a boy?”
Oh my goodness, now you mention it I’m not sure that I’ve checked at any point during the last nine months of changing nappies! 

4 – “You’re looking *awkward pause…* well!”
I look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards by my crazy beagle…why do we have to be so terribly British about it? Just say I look awful and then I don’t feel so bad about having to try to return the compliment! 

3 – “Enjoy every moment”
I am so incredibly blessed to have a beautiful son, but I’m not convinced that anybody enjoys every moment…like the times where the baby has been screaming non stop for 3 hours and has only stopped momentarily to wipe his snotty face all over your favourite cardigan. 

2 – “He’s going to nursery in a few months? I would never have dreamt of sending my children to nursery! You’ll miss out on so much!”
Whilst I’d love to stay at home with my LittleMonkey forevermore, I’d much rather be able to afford to feed and clothe him! I don’t understand why some people seem to think that women who go back to work are cruel and don’t want to ever see their children again! 

1 – “It’s all worth it isn’t it? One smile and you forget about all the pain!”
Yes, it’s worth it. No, I haven’t forgotten about the pain. I was induced and still vividly recall the excruciating pain as some poor midwife inserted a pessary into a body that well and truly wasn’t ready to give birth! I still vividly recall the excruciating pain as a second midwife repeated the procedure 24 hours later. LittleMonkey is absolutely worth it, but I’m not convinced I will ever get over the trauma of being induced when my body quite simply wasn’t ready!

Do people actually think before they open their mouths?



Am I crazy?

LittleMonkey has just gone to bed (at last) and I’m sat wondering if I have completely lost the plot…

Tomorrow we get the keys to our new house. Moving with an 8 month old shouldn’t be too bad (so I am told) but we appear to have accidentally bought  a major renovation project. I’m all for a bit of hard work and I’m not afraid of getting my hands dirty, but considering most days I struggle to put LittleMonkey down long enough to have a wee I’m wondering if I might be biting off more than I can chew with this one!

This seems to be the theme of my maternity leave actually considering I thought it would be a great idea to spend my year “off” raising my first child and completing a Masters degree. It turns out that my utopian view of what maternity leave would be like was pretty inaccurate. I had imagined cake baking, reading, language learning, long walks with LittleMonkey and LittleHound and lots of time to catch up on my endless “I’ll finish that one day” projects (the degree being one of them!) I guess that I’ve sort of succeeded with language learning if you count the exchanges of grunts and nods between my husband and I when we are both too tired to string a sentence together…

I kind of had Italian in mind!



The power of a smile…

I’m exhausted. Thoroughly exhausted. I’m having to make some pretty huge decisions about work at the moment, which is terrifying, emotional and downright draining. Some days I’m pretty stressed and grumpy and then out of nowhere LittleMonkey will give me a cheeky little grin and I’m just totally lost in the moment. How can such a little (chubby) face make everything seem ok?

Thankful for the little things!


It’s been a little while since my last blog post and LittleMonkey has reached a few milestones!

At about 5mths LittleMonkey finally worked out how to breastfeed properly. To be honest, I think I had just ended up feeling so negative about it after such a rubbish experience that I had given up trying. Nevertheless there were tears of utter joy the first time LittleMonkey had a full feed (and probably after every feed for the first week or so if I’m honest). I was so relieved to be able to relax over Christmas, rather than having to sneak away to express in private every couple of hours and I feel so proud of us both – Well done LittleMonkey!

Breastfeeding (or at least trying to) has taught me a lot about myself. I care way more about what people think about me (or what I think people think about me) than I ever thought possible, I’m incredibly sensitive and hard on myself and I’m ridiculously stubborn. I need to work on these qualities. Not being able to breastfeed LittleMonkey made me incredibly miserable and I didn’t enjoy the first 5 months of his life like I should have done. I planned my day meticulously around his feeds and expressing and this made it very difficult to escape the mummy bubble. I would only feed LittleMonkey around those that I trusted the most and on the rare occasions I fed him around others, I always felt the need to explain that I was bottle-feeding him breastmilk. I personally have absolutely no problem with bottle feeding or formula and think that parents should do what is best for them and their babies, but apparently despite wholeheartedly believing this, it’s hard not to be affected by social pressures.

Oh the joys. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that LittleMonkey is discovering new and exciting foods but my goodness, the mess! Purees I can cope with (until the point that LittleMonkey grabs the spoon or spits it in my face) but who’s idea was baby led weaning!? Baby led weaning seems to equate to LittleMonkey mushing bits of food into every surface possible whilst still finding remnants to throw onto my beige carpet. I’m not convinced any of it goes into his mouth (unless it’s toast…he’s definitely inherited my addiction to toast) but it seems to be the trendy way of weaning your child at present, so we’re rolling with it…or at least that’s what I’m telling the health visitor!

…and then screaming because he hates being on his tummy. My days are literally spent doing nothing other than feeding LittleMonkey, cleaning mushed food off the carpet, dog and LittleMonkey and rolling a distraught LittleMonkey back onto his back a gazillion times!

Where did the last 6 months go…