What not to say…

Being pregnant and having a baby has been a pretty bizarre experience. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any weirder than random strangers wanting to caress your enlarged stomach, someone comes along and says something weird…or unnecessary…or just down right stupid. Here are some of the corkers that I’ve encountered recently:

5 – “He? Did you say he? That’s not a boy! He’s way too pretty to be a boy. Are you sure he’s a boy?”
Oh my goodness, now you mention it I’m not sure that I’ve checked at any point during the last nine months of changing nappies! 

4 – “You’re looking *awkward pause…* well!”
I look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards by my crazy beagle…why do we have to be so terribly British about it? Just say I look awful and then I don’t feel so bad about having to try to return the compliment! 

3 – “Enjoy every moment”
I am so incredibly blessed to have a beautiful son, but I’m not convinced that anybody enjoys every moment…like the times where the baby has been screaming non stop for 3 hours and has only stopped momentarily to wipe his snotty face all over your favourite cardigan. 

2 – “He’s going to nursery in a few months? I would never have dreamt of sending my children to nursery! You’ll miss out on so much!”
Whilst I’d love to stay at home with my LittleMonkey forevermore, I’d much rather be able to afford to feed and clothe him! I don’t understand why some people seem to think that women who go back to work are cruel and don’t want to ever see their children again! 

1 – “It’s all worth it isn’t it? One smile and you forget about all the pain!”
Yes, it’s worth it. No, I haven’t forgotten about the pain. I was induced and still vividly recall the excruciating pain as some poor midwife inserted a pessary into a body that well and truly wasn’t ready to give birth! I still vividly recall the excruciating pain as a second midwife repeated the procedure 24 hours later. LittleMonkey is absolutely worth it, but I’m not convinced I will ever get over the trauma of being induced when my body quite simply wasn’t ready!

Do people actually think before they open their mouths?